Facebook and Envy

James 3:16 
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

Proverbs 14:30 
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.


I am ending my relationship with Facebook and it’s not because of privacy issues—it’s because Facebook feeds the “green-eyed monster” within.  After spending fifteen minutes (it’s estimated the average viewer will have wasted 40 entire days scrolling and liking and commenting on pictures and posts in a 10 year period) viewing posts about running marathons, new cars, perfect families, thrilling vacations, and social events I wasn’t invited to, I am convinced that everyone’s world is made of “sunshine, lollipops and everything wonderful” except for my own.  I envy the number of likes and comments of my eighty-two friends (recently I posted something provocative and received two likes and no comments!)

Facebook exacerbates my envy of others and I hate myself for allowing it to affect me like it does. I know I have it good compared to millions of others, but my angst is not about what I have, it’s about what I do not have.  Dorothy Sayers said “Envy begins by asking plausibly: ‘Why should I not enjoy what others enjoy?’  And it ends by demanding: ‘Why should others enjoy what I may not?”

This morning I jackhammered a concrete sidewalk for two hours and instead of being grateful that I can still do demanding physical work at my age, I thought of Mark Zuckerberg, who can hire whomever, whenever. Why can’t I hire someone to jackhammer in 100 degree weather?  Why can’t I have a bungalow on the coast? Why can’t I have a backhand like Roger Federer’s?

Os Guinness says: “Envy enters when, seeing someone else’s happiness or success, we feel ourselves called into question. Then, out of the hurt of our wounded self-esteem, we seek to bring the other person down to our level by word or deed. They belittle us by their success, we feel; we should bring them down to their deserved level, envy helps us feel. Full-blown envy, in short, is dejection plus disparagement plus destruction.” Facebook entices me to bring down others.  

So what is the cure for envy? Guiness suggests, “The cure for envy lies in living under a constant sense of the divine presence, worshiping God and communing with Him all the day long, however long the day may seem. True religion lifts the soul into a higher region, where the judgment becomes more clear and the desires are more elevated. The more of heaven there is in our lives, the less of earth we shall covet. The fear of God casts out envy of men”.

If I understand what Guiness is suggesting, then the cure is not about detaching myself from earthly desires, but it’s about attaching to heavenly matters.  In other words, the more I attach myself to Jesus, the less envious I will be.  


Maybe it’s not Facebook’s fault that I envy others. Maybe I can actually be content in all things. Maybe there is hope for us who battle envy. No matter.  I’m still ending my Facebook relationship.

Comments

Manager said…
I login to Facebook primarily because the younger people that I interact with use Facebook to communicate major life events and are somewhat insulted when I don't know what is happening in their lives. It seems shallow to me and somewhat needy on their part but I obediently aqueous to their need to be acknowledged. In the past it was similar with email. Some friends would feel that if they had sent me an email they had connected with me whether I had responded to the email or not. There seemed no need for them to actually call me or make and actual connection. The fact that they had emailed me meant that I should know what the expectation was of me. That expectation seems to have passed and the current expectation is that we would know what people are posting on Facebook. I'm sure that there will be some replacement for Facebook in the near future in which the expectation will be raised that we all acknowledge what the needy few are posting. In the meantime, it would be nice if someone actually drove to my house and knocked on my front door and said hi Don how are you?
July 28, 2015 at 5:00 PM
Unknown said…
You are spot on Steve. I do not do facebook and personally I am quite content to not see or read about all that others are doing. I like my little bubble! However, there is never a day that I should not try to be connecting with God. Imagine the time used on facebook etc spent on reading Gods word. Now that is something to be envious about.
Joyce
July 29, 2015 at 8:54 AM
Unknown said…
Well put, Steve...thought provoking. I'm glad that we (older folks) had a time in our life that was Facebook-free and know how satisfying life can be without it. For the next generations who only know life with FB, it's a much bigger paradigm shift if they decide to opt out.
July 29, 2015 at 11:22 AM
Jan said…
Steve,
Bless you for bringing to light the question of what it is in our lives that causes envy! It's not FB for me, but thanks to your blog I will examin what it might be in my life! You're right! We need to do away with things that tempt us!!
Just so you know: FB to me is like a chance to share my photography, as your
blog is a chance for you to share your writing! I so enjoy having the opportunity to share and only hope my pix add joy to someone's life as your blog does to mine!
Love you and Jane, Jan
July 30, 2015 at 4:27 PM
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