Losing Heart

I hate it when I say something that causes pain. 
When my words hurt someone, I lose heart. I kick myself into a deep depression. I feel like Eeyore, the old grey Donkey, who looked at himself in the water, said: "Pathetic. That's what it is. Pathetic." 
Clouds darken; colors fade; hope recedes. I spiral into a dark place. One would think at the ripe old age of 68 that I would have command over my words.  Sadly, this isn't the case.   
After innocently saying something hurtful to someone I love dearly recently, Carla, my niece, who I hadn't seen for some time, unexpectedly came to visit Jane and me in the hospital where my granddaughter, Ellie was recovering from a horrific accident.  I was in that dark place. Carla encouraged me, loved me, and brought me a burrito and chips. As we gathered around Ellie's bed, Carla asked if she could pray. As she prayed, Jesus clearly said to me: "Don't lose heart." In these difficult days of mass shootings, political polarization, natural disasters, moral relativism, it is easy to "lose heart."These words are found not once but twice in 2 Corinthians 4. The first mention puts fresh wind in my sail: "Therefore, since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart. The second resonates more and more as I age: So do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure...—2 Cor 4:16-17 NRSV


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